It’s occurred to me, in the time and space since my post yesterday, that it may appear as if I believe I am a victim of the relationship I was involved in, and that I blame this relationship for perpetuating my illness. I do not. I am responsible for everything that occurs in my life, including my current heartache and my current health. If I’m going to get real with myself, if I’m going to be really, unflinchingly honest, then I need to admit that I knew everything I needed to know before I...
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I am walking to the river. I am walking to the river because my heart is broken and it keeps demanding that I be out in nature. I suppose because it’s closer to God out there, and nothing short of being embraced by the entire Universe could ease this. So I am walking to the river, barefoot because it feels better to have all that extra sensation and information coming from the bottom of my feet. The way to the river from my house is past one of the very wealthy sections of my...
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Monday around 9:30 p.m., if you had walked into my house you would have found me sitting cross-legged on the floor, rocking back and forth, sobbing, heaving, and thrusting out deep, guttural, staccato sounds of agony. This is not what I typically do on a Monday evening. But something serendipitous is happening. Not fun, no not fun at all. Not even a little bit. But definitely serendipitous. I have found myself in a moment of my life where I’m faced with an extremely challenging and painful emotional situation. And (finally) the universe has simultaneously...
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