MS is a Monster!
I hear many people refer to MS as a monster, a mysterious entity that they have no control over, an evil creature who comes to attack them at will. Is this a bad story to be telling yourself? That depends. There are two ways to be in this story of the MS monster: one of them is useful, the other is not.
If you’re the hero on your journey, the myth of the monster is a central and very important element of your story. The monster is your challenge, and in order to receive the gift waiting for you at the end of your journey, you must survive it. This is a great and quite useful story to tell yourself, because it means that every trial you face because of MS is to get to that boon. For some people the boon might be as simple (but invaluable) as their health, for others it’s their life’s purpose. This story gives meaning to the problems you’re enduring and is a constant reminder of the journey you’re on and the gift you’ll receive when you defeat the monster.
However, this is not the empowered position many people take when they tell themselves the story that MS is a monster. For many, the MS monster is of the same terrifying variety they experienced when they were scared, helpless children. MS is the evil murderous clown under the bed. Or the gruesome creature in the closet that will surely get them as soon as they look away. When we grow up, most of us stop fearing the imaginary monsters under the bed. But when it comes to the MS monster, we find ourselves, as adults, in its clutches as if we were still seven years old, alone in our rooms in the dark.
I saw a video some time ago of a woman who spoke of her MS as the spider in the corner of the room. Her goal was to keep that spider in the corner, she said, because when it crept into the center, then she had to deal with it. I feel sad for this woman, living in fear of her spider-monster. And I wished she knew that if she dealt with it when it was in the corner, if she tended to it as if it were simply a part of her life, rather than some external creature, it would be much less likely to creep into the center of the room.
To consider yourself as the helpless victim of the mysterious MS monster is to give up your power and cast yourself in the most pitiful role possible in the story of your life. Who would you rather be – the victim or the hero? Heroes don’t fear their monsters, they slay them.
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great post! I choose to be the hero in my story. I went fishing with my husband today and he was insisting that when we climb down a rocky slope to the water that he take the supplies down first and then come back for me; well I told him that I didn’t need help, I’ve improved a lot and I am not gonna let myself get bad again. I know what to do and what not to do, I’ve learned a lot about my MS. Thanks for your blog, I feel I connect with a lot of things you talk about
Yes, I think a lot of people feel that MS is a monster. And probably to those who are significantly disabled, it seems like a monster. I do feel bad for them. But I believe that EVERYONE, no matter what their situation is in life, can help themselves by eating healthy and nuturing foods, getting some exercise (even if is doing a video like “Yoga for MS” or “Tai Chi for Seniors” — or simply just stretching), and practicing some form of self-healing, like meditation. I believe that is how a person puts forth their best effort at dealing with the MS moster. I believe in the saying “I have MS — MS does not have me”!!!
I like this I was dumb in stopping my injections 9 months ago but I just went to c my grandma in Puerto Rico 1week did not enjoy myself at all went with my mom stood in bed the whole time horible headaches I’m home now and I’m not prince charming but no woman wants to deal with my headaches and u say ms they think aids cause I lost alot of wate u. Look at me people think I’m 35 and I’m 43 but the way I feel right now I don’t if its better dead then alive!! My mom wants to move to p.r. then I’m left all alone what am I gonna do. I have been a wreck very sentamental crying all day for no reason .what would anybody advice me to do ? Email cesar8882@yahoo.com.9045360007 thank u
Cesar,
I have compassion for your worry, and the headaches you are experiencing. Maybe you would benefit from contacting a local counseling office near you to talk over your concerns, and help make a plan for your future.
Cesar, I also go through this and I do take my injections, in my case this is all part of having MS. But the headaches do pass eventually. What I do is apply homepathic magnets to any place where there is pain. I apply a headband and place the magnets exactly where the pain is at its worst. The magnets redirect the pain away from you and make the blood flow better. I also apply migraine medication (Head On) & rub on medication to my forehead or where I feel the pain while I have the magnets. Also ice packs help alot. After a short while the pain passes. It is not the end of the world believe me, I thought I was going to die alone from this.
Dee and Hopeful – thank you for taking the time to give some advice to Cesar. I hope it’s helpful.
Karen, this was an awesome post. Fear is a terrible thing to have to live with. Whether you fear an event like a public speaking engagement, a financial crisis you may be going through or your overall health, fear can be paralyzing. Facing ones fear can be difficult at best. Although I wouldn’t wish MS on my worst enemy, MS has empowered me in many different ways. It’s made me a much more empathetic and compassionate person and someone who will always go above and beyond to someone less fortunate. There are others who suffer more than I do and so it helps me to put my life in perspective. I always remind myself to count my blessings. I have two wonderful kids, a wonderful fiance that loves me unconditionally and is extremely supportive and many awesome friends. Things could always be worse. At least MS isn’t a disease where going to die from. At least MS has a tight knit group of people that stick together and are my second family. Being positive is also beneficial to ones health and I make an effort to surround myself with positive people like myself. Yes, I believe my cup is at least half full if there is an MS monster, he is invisible to me. Thanks for sharing your views. I really enjoyed reading them.
Dear Karen,
Great post. Yes MS can be a monster or it can be that thing that pushes you to find deep down inside yourself that hidden strength.
I find in my deepest moments of pain I reach down inside and grab that inner core, you know the one we all never realized we had. I take hold of the that and focus my attention on something besides feeling crappy, and then as if by some miraculous intervention I start to feeling a little better.