What’s Wrong With This Picture?
Someone posted this photo on the National Multiple Sclerosis Society’s Facebook page yesterday. I don’t know who created it or who published it. Aesthetically, it’s a beautiful image. As a professional photographer for the last ten years, I admire the skillful lighting and the woman’s naked fetal-position pose to express her vulnerability. But note the writing at the bottom, that reads “When you have Multiple Sclerosis you never know what will expire next.” All over the woman’s body are stamps that say “use by”.
Really?
Because I almost cannot believe anyone would spend their time creating such a beautiful image, only to broadcast such a horrible message. This photograph is self-indulgent and self-pitying – an image that could only be created by someone steeped in a victim mentality. The woman depicted here is not just vulnerable, she’s helpless, and the MS monster can strike at any time, “expiring” the use of any one of her body parts. Perhaps someone might argue that this image is to create awareness about MS. But what exactly are we becoming aware of? That people with MS are self-pitying victims? Because that’s the message here.
In fact, this is an excellent example of some of the awful stories being circulated within the MS community. When I look at this photograph, the message I am getting is “There is nothing I can do, MS is coming to get me.” How do you feel when you look at this image? Do you feel empowered? Do you feel hopeful about your future? Do you feel full of possibility? Or do you feel scared, fearful of your future, and plain old awful? How is that a useful way to feel?
If I could achieve one thing with this entire blog, it would be to increase your awareness of the messages being broadcast to you, so that when you see an awful image like this, you won’t let it in to influence the way you think about yourself, your future, or your illness. Instead, you would recognize that the person who created it is defeated, stuck in victim mode. You would feel compassion for him or her, and continue on believing that you are a powerful hero on a journey of healing, growth, and purpose. This is what I want for you. I want you to believe this about yourself and your journey so intensely that your belief becomes impenetrable.
What do you think about this image? I would love to hear your thoughts.
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Something like this photo is so counterproductive to people choosing alternative methods of healing their MS. We have to choose each day to stand up to the MS monster and say, “Nope! You can’t have me!” When we seemingly have a setback with our MS, or there is a flare-up of symptoms we just need to keep marching forward!
The quote from your interview with Ann Boroch of 12/31/09 is the goal for me. Get your body healthy enough for a long enough time, and it will heal! Patience, hope, and community are vital components in this journey. Unfortunately, too many people feel what this photo depicts…
absolutely! thanks so much for adding your wisdom and insight.
i love your feedback and appreciate the reminder of Ann’s quote, that definitely sums it up and gives us all a goal to move toward.
I think it’s a great image of MS. Many of us can’t take the medicines due to allergies to Steroids, I know that helpless feeling you are talking about, however, I don’t think she looks helpless at all, she looks like she hurts and wants the pain to just end. Maybe if doctors KNEW the pain and uselessness of our bodies they would push harder for a Cure for MS. I do think the woman in the picture is just way too skinny for her own good, but that’s a personally thought about bone bare woman in our world. Thanks for letting me post.
I thought this picture on the facebook page was very defeating and negative. I don’t understand how people can post things like that. I ask myself every day — what is wrong with people. It seems like everywhere you look there are people doing negative things. We all need to be grateful for the things that we have and positive about the future. I would suggest that anyone who would post something like this would take time out every day to be thankful for what they have, and most of all, that they would take time every day doing something for someone else. If they are disabled/incapacitated, etc, they could start by posting messages of hope and thanksgiving and try to uplift someone else’s spirts. That would be bound to help them out of their despair!
Thanks for letting us all be aware of the negativity out there so that we can be even more POSITIVE.
Have a peaceful and joyful day! Pam
thank you pam! i really appreciate you sharing your wisdom here.
Yeah, sure, bad message, not at all self-empowering….
But not everybody feels the rah-rah enthusiasm for life, Jesus, and silver linings, that I sometimes see as the MS Party Line.
Thank you! I DO love Jesus, but truthfully, there are so many of those “I have MS but MS doesn’t have me and you need to tow this party line” comments spewed all over the Internet. If you are that upbeat and positive go for it. Often, i just think it’s another form of denial and bordering on phoniness. Do people really acknowledge how difficult this disease is to actually LIVE with on a daily basis? Sometimes you really DO need to cry and grieve the losses of a body that is simply not the same. Many diseases do not present the limitations that MS can present. Everyone is different and how they handle their feelings and choose to process them is different. I guess we all have to find what works for us. Maybe it does “victimize” this woman, but MS is not a fun thing to have. I have never met anyone who does not have it, who tells me that they would not have a horrid time coping with it if they DID have it. I’d prefer a cure over symptom management any day.
A true example of what MS (monster) does to U
There’s a world of difference between facing-up to reality and feeling sorry for yourself. I happen to think it’s a great picture, telling it like it is. Sorry but it’s true, “…you never know what will expire next”. I worked in advertising for many years before MS struck me some 30 years ago. I can’t take drugs either. I have Primary Progressive MS and there isn’t any treatment. I don’t feel sorry for myself, I feel fortunate I’ve lasted this long.
Thank you! I too seem to have a progressive form. Being told that there was no treatment was way worse than being told that I might be dying when they thought I had an MS variant that can kill you fairly quickly. At least I found a caring neurologist who was willing to try treatment. Losing one’s ability to work is as much of an expiration as having legs that don’t work well. There are different forms of expiration. They are depicitng a rawness of the disease that isn’t pretty.
I have MS and I think this is one of the most brilliant ad campaigns I have seen. I am not a victim. I am very active in both my life and the movement. I think it is important to show the people with the mentality that ‘you don’t look sick so you’re not sick’ just how important MS awareness is. My question to the person who wrote this is ‘Do you have MS?’ Also, your anger about this picture makes you sound self pitying. That is my opinion.
hi aimee. thanks for your comment. if you read this post or any others on my blog, you’d know that i have MS, and you’d find that self-pity is the antithesis of my message. i am not angry nor am i self-pitying. i am, however, very aware of the messages being broadcast about MS and i think it’s worth our time to examine what these messages are saying about the meaning of this illness and how that is either empowering or disempowering to those who have it. as for your other comment, i don’t know who created this image or where you can find it, sorry!
BTW, I would LOVE to get my hands on a print/poster of this. Any idea how I can do that?
I think you are dead wrong.
This image does a good job of representing the unknown and unpredictable aspects of MS for many of us. A little sensitivity toward the creator of this image might be in order, as MS is different for everyone . . . and this image represents one person’s personal experience.
Two questions for you:
1. What is wrong with the old adage “Use it before you lose it?” If more folks followed this we would have a healthy population, less obesity, and fewer people would face regrets for NOT being more active when they are able. None of us is assured that we will not be hit by a car, have a stroke, or come down with a debilitating disease tomorrow . . . are we?
2. Your subtitle “Support & Inspiration to Heal Multiple Sclerosis” — do you have information about a cure for MS that the rest of us don’t know about? My daughter works in auto-immune disease research and would surely have advised me if a cure were on the horizon! I agree we can have healthy attitudes and approaches to disease . . . but in my opinion it is careless and unhealthy to imply one can be cured of MS by means of “positive thinking.”
I am an artist currently working on two submissions for an art exhibit sponsored by my MS clinic, about living with MS, and there is a balance to be struck in communicating the experience without projecting a ‘pity-party’ mentality. I have actually found it healthier to get on with mourning my losses rather than wishing they were not real. This allows me to move through the days and weeks with more realistic expectations.
hi debra. thanks for writing, i appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts.
let me clear a few things up. i feel quite sensitive to the creator of this image. i feel an enormous amount of compassion for her, as i do for all those who are suffering from an illness. in fact, i feel so much compassion for her that i’m not willing to buy into the story of her illness that she depicts in this image, because i don’t think it’s useful for her, or anyone else in the MS community. the collective beliefs of a community have a tremendous impact on the members within it and what they believe is possible for them. when i see an image like this, i must do my part to counteract it because it’s enforcing exactly those beliefs that have lead to so many people with MS feeling desperate and out of control and at the mercy of their illness. but the truth is, this is simply not so. all of us have the power to affect the outcome of our health far beyond what we’ve been taught to believe.
i don’t think there’s anything wrong with “using it before you lose it” as you say, but that’s not what’s happening here. she’s predicting – illustrating – the future of her illness as if it’s inevitable and she, as the helpless victim, must just accept her fate. but i know too much about the way people organize their reality and their beliefs and how that effects the outcome of their illnesses to be ok with this depiction (for her sake any the sake of the community).
do i have information about a cure for MS? no and yes. no, if you’re not willing to look outside the narrow confines of the paradigm of western medicine. yes, if you are, and you educate yourself as to the effects our beliefs have on our lives, our reality, our illnesses and our ability to heal. i have never implied that one can be cured by means of positive thinking. in fact i have written posts specifically about the difference between that and what i do. positive thinking alone is not enough to heal.
if you want to heal your illness (and yes i absolutely believe you can, as thousands upon thousands have through time healed themselves of cancer, MS, and many other debilitating and fatal illnesses) then you need to delve into your beliefs and learn how to change them so that they support you in getting well. i would never recommend denial of one’s situation – that is not just not useful, it can be harmful. the kind of shift i work toward with my clients is a complete change in their state to one in which they embody wellness. the key to healing is FEELING, BEING as if you are already healed. but without the full depth of understanding of this concept i understand how it could be misconstrued as “positive thinking” or denial. please know that this is not that.
i highly recommend checking out my interview with dr. bruce lipton, which you can access by entering your name and email in the box at the top right of my blog with the red arrow. i’m also in the midst of writing a five-part series on beliefs that may be useful.
as for your own “realistic expectations”, if we were working together i would assassinate that term from your vocabulary and ask you this very important question: whose “realistic expectations” are these? based on what? within what paradigm of thought are they realistic? because seemingly miraculous, quite unrealistic healings take place every day that cannot be explained by western medicine but have nonetheless been well-documented. i suggest reading gregg braden’s The Spontaneous Healing of Belief if you’d like specific examples. i strongly discourage you from accepting these “realistic expectations” and instead i encourage you to cultivate some very “unrealistic” expectations. decide that you can heal your MS and begin to sort for what that means and how it might be possible. it will lead you in a very different direction than where you’re headed.
i wish you much health and happiness.
warmly,
karen
For much of my life I was stuck in the victim mode, even believing I deserved it. I am in long term recovery from alcoholism, I have survived cancer, I was diagnosed as bipolar, all of which I fought hard to stay above. But it was when I was diagnosed with MS, that I had to take a good hard look at my personal belief system. I believe all these obstacles were placed in my life for a reason, but I had to be able to see that before anything could be different. What I discovered is I hit these road bumps, but I figure out how to keep going. I think this ad was intended more for those without MS than those with MS. It is a sadly negative view of MS. How about the view of “I have MS, and this is what I can do, because I believe I deserve too”. Each of us have to take responsibiliy for ourselves, no we honestly did not ask for this, but honestly before we were diagnosed with MS, what did we believe we really deserved? I think knowing the answer to that question is what turned my life around. I will not be defined as, an Alcoholic, Bipolar, Cancer Survivor (this implies victim) nor will I be defined by MS. I am just me and there will be more road bumps and I will figure out how to go beyond, because it isn’t the prize on the otherside but the journey that I enjoy.
Nothing’s wrong with it….. I think the picture is beautiful and shows the reality of MS for many of us who have it. (and it IS called reality) I know many in wheelchairs who have ‘pushed passed’, ‘pushed through’, ‘picked themselves up and brushed the dust off’ repeatedly but as the years pass, it happens. To say this is “self-indulgent and self-pitying” not only seems strange to me but tells a bunch of us that we’re failures. AHH, but I refuse to let your opinion muddy my ‘self’ worth.
Defined by MS…what exactly does that mean? People with MS are the only group I’ve heard use this phrase, and to me, that’s much worse than anything this picture implies. Defined… who would ever? Do you really think those of us in wheelchairs, looking to the bed next have ‘defined’ this or let it consume us? geesh…