Is Your Neurologist A Fit For You?
If you’ve got MS, your neurologist plays an extremely important role in your life. For many of you, these visits are your only direct, in-person contact with a medical expert on MS. In other words, this person is in a position of massive authority – a position to significantly influence your attitude about your illness and your choices. (Even if you only meet your doc a few times a year – sometimes especially because of that.)
This person’s got a whole lotta sway. And that’s fine – as long as you’ve chosen the right doctor for you. Doctors hold so much authority in our culture that sometimes we may forget who is working for who. Your doctor is your employee, not the other way around, and if you’re not satisfied with his performance, you may and darn well should fire him and find someone better. I have a client who wanted to fire her doctor but she was afraid to hurt his feelings and afraid that he might call her to find out why. I asked her what she was more afraid of – experiencing the discomfort of facing someone squarely and telling them an unpleasant truth, or putting her health – her very life – in the hands of the wrong person.
Today I want to ask you a few questions to jog your thinking about your doctor and whether or not he or she is the right one for the job. Remember – inviting someone in to help you heal is a sacred role. Your doctor should honor that and honor you.
The Doctor Quiz
Do you and your doctor share the same fundamental beliefs about MS and how it should be treated?
Does your doctor treat you like an equal partner in deciding the best course of action?
Does your doctor respond respectfully and without being condescending if you disagree with his suggestion?
Does your doctor ask you what you think would be best for you?
Does your doctor make you feel like you are the only patient in the world?
Does your doctor take time with you to find out how you are feeling and what stresses might be effecting your life?
Does your doctor or someone in the office return your call promptly if you have a question or concern?
Do you feel comfortable with your doctor?
Do you feel like your doctor gets you?
Do you leave your doctor’s office feeling hopeful and positive and with a renewed sense of determination?
The Results
If you answered no to more than one of these questions, I advise you to consider finding yourself a new doctor. You deserve someone who you can answer YES to for all the above considerations. But part of deserving a great doctor is being willing to take the time and effort and potential discomfort to find that person. Sometimes you just get lucky, but more often than not, finding high quality professionals is the result of first believing you deserve it and then demanding that you receive it by doing whatever it takes to find the right fit. Your health is the only thing that really matters. Settle for a mediocre hairdresser (if you must, though I don’t necessarily advise that either). Don’t settle for a mediocre doctor.
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As I began this long road of MS, I had a doctor with whom I could not connect. He didn’t listen, only wanting to tell me what to do. I stopped seeing him and found another, only to discover the second was worse than the first. After a time of having no neurologist, I tried once again. This time I found a near perfect fit. I have been with him for 5 years now, through different treatments and regiments.
Even though it was difficult to go through the first two physicians, it was totally worth it to realize I need a partner in this battle. I encourage anyone who is struggling to persevere and find the right neurologist for you!
thank you very much for taking the time to write this teresa. your story is further reinforcement that it’s worth the time and effort to find the right doctor.
Hi Teresa, great for you that you have found a neuro you can work with. I am on my 4th in 2yrs and have been told i have everything from peripheral neuropathy, brain tumor, stroke, cervical myelopathy, to old for ms and now radiologic isolated syndrome, even though i have all the symptoms and three mri’s with lesions,etc. I have asked the national ms society for a recommendation in the Tucson area and they gave me a list of neuros in the city two of which i have used. How did you find a good one? thanks Steve Grier sgrier494@yahoo.com
After beeing dx for exactly a year (3/24/09)finding a Dr was a homework that took me almost 2 weeks, the Doctors recomended were too busy,3 or 4 months waiting period and I was in such a hurry to talk to someone about it, I give a shot to a new Dr, but what really convince me was the person that works for her, so kind and understanding and was able to acomodate my necesity, by accident found the doctor that fit me so perfect, my Doctor (she) is very knologeable, caring and make me feel very confortable; I think we have to be open to changes, medicine, doctors and actitud.