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Do You Feel All Alone In Your Suffering?

May 10, 2013
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Do You Feel All Alone In Your Suffering?

My friends don’t get it. My partner doesn’t get it. My family doesn’t get it. I hear these sentiments a lot from the clients I coach and from readers of my blog. When the people in our inner circle don’t understand our suffering, we may feel isolated, frustrated, misunderstood, and painfully, acutely alone as a result. Since we’re all friends here, I’ll just put it frankly: It stinks. I recently spent some time with a friend who has fibromyalgia, a chronic illness that causes long-term, widespread pain and tenderness throughout the body. She works...

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Can You Love What is Broken In You?

May 5, 2013
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Can You Love What is Broken In You?

My desktop computer’s mouse is not functioning properly and each time I use it, I feel a mounting rage inside me. I want to pull it out and throw it at the wall with all the force of my being. I feel, for this inatimate object, an unrivaled hatred. I click once and it thinks I clicked twice, opening files and programs I am not intending to open. I try to move my cursor to a word and instead it highlights entire portions of text. Sometimes I click and instead of the wrong thing...

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Be. Free.

March 29, 2013
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Be. Free.

This morning I was cranky and PMS-y and didn’t want to get out of bed. But my roommate thankfully knew what was best for me and all but pushed me out of the house to go to yoga. I drove my lethargic bag o’ bones there, all the while dreading the feeling of not-good-enough-ness that would surely descend upon me when I failed to meet my own yogic standards. But I got lucky today. I was blessed with a yoga teacher who delivered exactly what I was too constricted to realize I needed. She...

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Your Illness is Your No-Guts Filter

March 26, 2013
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Your Illness is Your No-Guts Filter

I have a friend who suffers from chronic cluster headaches.If you’re unfamiliar with cluster headaches (and hopefully you are), they are like migraines on steroids. Debilitating, stop-you-in-your-tracks, please-stick-a-need-in-my-eye intolerable pain. A few days ago, I was with him when he had one. Today we were talking and he said he wished I hadn’t seen that because it’s ugly and dark and scary and he thinks anyone who witnesses it would, and probably should, turn and run the other way, fast. I told him he’s been blessed with a very effective no-guts filter for use...

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Anxious? Come Back to Now.

March 16, 2013
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Anxious? Come Back to Now.

As I write this, my daughter is sleeping peacefully beside me.  But several minutes ago, this was not the case. This past week was Spring Break so we haven’t been on a regular schedule. I’ve been letting her stay up later than usual, and tonight, without realizing it, suddenly it was 10 o’clock and she was deep in the clutches of an “I’m-Overtired” Meltdown. She was lying on the bed, sobbing in stacatto gasps, crying “I can’t sleep! I tried and I can’t! I can’t! I can’t! I tried!” I asked her to breathe...

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Why I Want To Stay Sick

March 6, 2013
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Why I Want To Stay Sick

Earlier this afternoon, I felt the beginnings of a virus coming on. Turns out I had simply gotten caught up in my day and forgotten to eat anything, and I mistook a drop in blood sugar for the beginnings of sickness. But in those few moments that I thought I was getting sick, I didn’t feel dread, or anxiety, or frustration, or anything like that. I felt relief. I thought, “Oh thank goodness, I can take a break.” And then I thought, “Geez, that’s a really twisted thought, what’s that about?” Here’s what I...

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Wanna Heal? Then You Gotta Forgive.

March 3, 2013
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Wanna Heal? Then You Gotta Forgive.

There is someone in my life who I would like to forgive. Actually no, that’s not quite accurate. The truth is I don’t want to forgive this person. In fact, every time I consider forgiving this person, I think, “No. No way. I will not forgive you. I do not like you. You hurt me. A lot. You betrayed me. You disappointed me. You made a fool of me. You deserve my wrath. You deserve to never be let off the hook.” But I know that I need to forgive, not for this person’s...

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You Are Okay, Right Now

February 17, 2013
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You Are Okay, Right Now

This blog is about healing. The coaching work I do with people is about healing. I call myself “The Self-Healing Coach”. And yet, I have never addressed the frequent and fundamental confusion regarding the word “heal.” “Healing” often gets confused for “curing.” But these are not the same thing. While they are used interchangeably quite often, they are, in fact, galaxies apart. A person can be “cured” of their illness and still need healing. And a person can be “healed” but still be symptomatic and “sick” by medical standards. I know that everyone wants...

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The Meaning of Life is 47

January 31, 2013
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The Meaning of Life is 47

Today someone told me they admired my altruistic dedication to working with people living with chronic illness. I laughed and replied that there is nothing altruistic about it. I am a selfish creature. We all are. My desire to help others and be of service is real and true. But when I delve down to the core motivation for this, I am primarily driven by my own need to feel that my suffering has been meaningful. That I haven’t been sick on and off for 16 years without reason or purpose. If I can...

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Transcending Survival Mode

January 7, 2013
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Transcending Survival Mode

My daughter has been on winter break and home from school for the last two weeks. As a single mom with no family around, these sorts of child-rearing marathons can be very taxing. It’s like, I love you and all, honey, but pleeeeasssse stop talking. Also, I wasn’t feeling well for most of the last week. Maybe it was the mild stomach virus I had, maybe it was a detox from how clean I’ve been eating, I don’t know. But what I do know is that I’ve felt this week like life was more...

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    • Karen Gordon is an author, blogger, and health coach at The Self-Healing Coach.
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